Hey Emily,

Voila

PRECHORUS: Each to each
No occasion for sport
So I’ll keep the speech short

Regan our scintillant prom queen
Hasn’t been laid in 10 years
Since her second divorce, she’s been frigid and forced
Spends all her nights out at cheap bars, of course
Chatting the boys up and downing beers

And Cassie our valedictorian
Is a self-loathing stay-at-home Mom
Now her life’s on the skids, Takes it out on the kids
Spends half her days sorting tupperware lids
Scouting rebellion on Match dot com

PRECHORUS

CHORUS: Raise your glass to this generation of failures
We’re filling the mail rooms and selling our heirlooms
And dying off two by two
Our dreams are coming due

And JP who ran the school paper
Writes fluff for the tabloids that pay
More than 8 cents a word, so the best are immured
Hack is the dirtiest four-letter word
So tell me which pop stars are straight and gay

And Daniel our Christian youth leader
He died in a car crash last fall
He was smashed off his mind on some communion wine
He stole from the church on the very last time
He said that he couldn’t see the point of it all

PRECHORUS
CHORUS

And you were so likely to succeed
And you were most likely to succeed
I voted you most likely to succeed

And Tommy your promising artist
Is here on the brink of collapse
Everyone’s listening to the narcissist king
Just cuz you’ve got a song doesn’t mean you should sing
So bring on the chorus and take a nap

CHORUS